I Miss Missing You
by BadonKaDank
Summary: He was prepared to catch the decanter stopper before it even left Thor's hand and when it met his palm with a swift slap he couldn't help the minuscule smirk that crept onto his face, amused by the surprised expression on his brother's. "I'm here." (Spoilers for Ragnarok)


**A/N: _Just got back from watching Ragnarok and I'm screaming! It was so fantastic, and I am 99% satisfied with it! That pesky 1%, though... I needed to see that hug and I just feel so cheated by the fact that Marvel didn't finally give it to us. So, I'm making it happen for myself. I have a mighty need. (I also think this counts as my first drabble? Huh...)_**

 ** _I shouldn't need to clarify that this is 100% platonic/familial, but I'm going to anyway._**

* * *

 **I Miss Missing You**

" _I might give you a hug if you were actually here."_

He was prepared to catch the decanter stopper before it even left Thor's hand and when it met his palm with a swift slap he couldn't help the minuscule smirk that crept onto his face, amused by the surprised expression on his brother's.

"I'm here."

It was posed as both a statement and an invitation, and it was Thor's turn to smile then. The twitch of his lips was subtle, but unmistakable, and Loki wondered what he'd do with the offer. It was more of a test than anything; he didn't expect the other to actually hug him, because he understood better than most that intentions and desires were quick to change when the situation turned out to be different than expected.

Maybe Thor said he'd consider hugging him when he thought the "him" he was talking to was merely an illusion, but knowing he was faced with the real thing, his intentions would be likely to change.

After everything they'd been through, Loki didn't expect Thor to try anything so foolish as to hug him. He'd learned. After everything, he'd finally learned to play the game and Loki understood that that meant things between them would change. Thor was no longer the oaf who would blindly follow him into fire, trusting that he wouldn't be burned; now he knew to bring something to extinguish the flames when they inevitably came too close. He understood that even if he could pass the time with banter and recalling of memories, Loki was, at the end of the day, a trickster. They could enjoy the other's company but Thor knew not to trust him completely.

That was alright, though, because that meant Thor had grown. He'd finally grown and become someone Loki could trust to not trust him, someone he didn't mind passing the throne over to.

Even knowing that, the trickster stayed put, making no attempt to move any closer to his brother, but also not turning to leave. Thor would be a complete fool to accept the soft-spoken offer, and he'd proven several times in the recents days that he was no longer a fool- at least not in the ways he used to be. He was well aware that coming too close could result in a dagger between his ribs, and looking for any form of proper emotional response would yield a similar outcome… and yet…

And yet, for once Loki had no intentions of doing anything of the sort to the man before him. For the first time, in a long time, he didn't feel anger or resentment or contempt or… anything he'd felt towards his brother in the recent years. He just felt content.

It was a strange, foreign feeling to him, especially since he couldn't understand why he felt it. His home had been destroyed mere hours ago, he was down to one family member, and in the back of his head he had the ominous thought that something was going to go terribly wrong soon. He had no reason whatsoever to feel any sort of contentment, and yet he did. It was as if Thor's brief sentiments spewed throughout their last few interactions had finally reached him and he was able to accept them and the care that came with them.

He didn't feel like he was so alone anymore, which was almost as foreign a concept as his feeling of contentment.

For once, he wanted Thor to take a chance on him. He'd done it when he'd trusted him to resurrect Surtur so it was possible for him to do it again. So even if he didn't expect Thor to make any move to come near him, and was waiting for the man to simply roll his eyes and wave him off, Loki remained where he stood, never removing his gaze from his brother's.

It felt like ages passed before the small smile on Thor's face spread into something closer to the usual trademark grin and he moved closer. Loki stiffened instinctively, though he knew Thor wasn't going to hurt him, and felt his expression shifting to something less confident and collected.

When familiar arms hesitantly wrapped around his shoulders, Loki forced himself not to flinch. He refused to appear as if he were afraid even as he was unsure of how to react. He may have extended the offer initially, but never in his wildest dreams did he imagine Thor would accept it. He'd hoped that he would, but had learned long ago to not waste his precious time on hopes and dreams because things rarely worked out for him.

Except, it would seem, on the occasions when they did.

He snaked his arms around Thor's back before the man could even consider pulling away and dug his fingernails into his shirt with an intensity that surprised himself. He gasped quietly at the warmth he found radiating off of his brother and pressed his forehead into his shoulder without thinking, chasing after the familiar comfort he'd longed for for too long. He hadn't even realized how much he'd missed it until it was back.

He clenched his eyes shut when Thor's grip on him tightened and he bit his lip to hold in his shaking breath. He'd missed this. He'd missed being able to come to his brother and embrace him for no other reason than because he wanted to. He'd missed feeling like he could trust someone to care about him, even a little. He'd missed… oh, hell, he'd missed Thor- or rather, the he'd missed Thor missing him.

Even as the remaining tension bled from his shoulders though, Loki couldn't help but feel like he was betraying himself because he was allowing Thor to see how much he still meant to him. And he was bewildered and upset because Thor had trusted him enough to get close to him and was still close, unafraid of what might happen if Loki suddenly decided he wanted him dead. It was like he'd learned so much and nothing at all.

It was simultaneously infuriating and endearing. Perhaps he'd misread Thor's growth and he was still overly trusting… or maybe he was just trusting enough.

"I missed you, brother."

The admission, strained and soft in his ear, had Loki releasing a breathy laugh as his heart clenched painfully in his chest. Suddenly, whether or not Thor was an idiot for hugging him didn't seem like the most important issue on the table. Truly, Thor's ability to shock him by saying exactly what he wanted to hear was uncanny sometimes. The man was completely clueless until he wasn't. It had always been like that for as long as he could remember.

Sighing quietly, Loki finally loosened his grip on Thor's back and allowed himself to momentarily relax against him. Despite how often these moments came up in their youth, he doubted they would have another any time in the future; he wanted to enjoy it while he could. After the events of Ragnarok he felt like he could at least allow himself that, no matter how brief it ended up being.

Because if Thor had missed him half as much as he'd missed him, then that was something they both sorely needed.


End file.
